Another day, another wavering back and forth about 60 times. I'll be so sure that I'm going to do the full distance, I'll get really excited, and then BAM! I change my mind and start thinking WTF?!?! That is insane!

Also, my wonderful husband Ben wrote a nice post letting me see how my decision won't just affect my life. For either race, the training will be long and intense, not to mention time-consuming, but for the full distance, it seems all the more daunting. Is it fair to my family (not to mention everyone else) for me to embark on such a time-sucker? Am I willing to make the sacrifices? I'm just not so sure.

I've run 2 marathons, and will run another in October. For them, I've had about a 4 month training period, and have quite often cursed and complained my way through them. I haven't even told the majority of my running buddies that I'm doing a marathon this year because I didn't want the pressure of having my training plan (or lack thereof, quite frankly) critiqued. I just wanted to run. I have no time goal, other than to beat the straggler bus. I am not a fast runner. I do the turtle-shuffle, and that's okay with me. I'm a strong swimmer, having spent 8 years on a swim team. I can ride a bike, but am not very good at it. It scares me - if /when I fall, it's going to hurt. I go faster than I'm comfortable with, and I'm not even going all that fast. I'm sure some of these feelings will pass, but lord, 112 miles ! That just seems insane.

I'm doubting my ability to commit to the Ironman - or, more precisely, to it's training. I'm sure that I could suffer through the actual race. But I'm not sure I could force myself to suffer through the training. The half distance is starting to seem a lot more reasonable. I've biked 34 miles before. The jump to 56 seems doable. I can already swim 1.2 miles, and most of my weekly long runs are longer than 13.1 miles. But, with time, who's to say I wouldn't be able to make the leap the Ironman distances?

Sigh. Such indecision.

As of a little while ago, the race was still open, so I guess I get to waver some more. Any input would be appreciated.

What to do, what to do....

Louisville had it's first Ironman this Sunday. I've done a few sprint triathlons, and had a blast. So, I was pretty psyched to go watch and volunteer, and then - the plan went- to go sign up for 2008 on Monday.

It's now Thursday. And I haven't signed up.

What happened? I was so sure I could do it; I really really *wanted* to do it. I could already hear "Kelly Wilson, you are an Ironman!" in my head. But then, as I was stationed by the medical tent Sunday night and watched all the normal, non-pro athletes coming in for help, I completely freaked. I decided that the half distance was the way to go. I broke this to my training partner (Debi), who took it rather well, though she made me promise to train with her.

The race hasn't closed (as of this morning), and I'm still on the fence. I want to do the full Ironman, but I am also terrified of the idea, if only because of the biking (more on this later). I'm half-hoping that it closes before I can make a decision, so the pressure would be off. On the one hand, I'm feeling like a weenie for doing only a half, but on the other hand, 70.3 miles is still a freakin' long way to go!

So, long story short, come along for the ride. Right now, I can't even tell you how long it will be, but it will be a fun trip. And feel free to give me you opinion - I'm one of those people who will stop and ask for directions.