Another day, another wavering back and forth about 60 times. I'll be so sure that I'm going to do the full distance, I'll get really excited, and then BAM! I change my mind and start thinking WTF?!?! That is insane!

Also, my wonderful husband Ben wrote a nice post letting me see how my decision won't just affect my life. For either race, the training will be long and intense, not to mention time-consuming, but for the full distance, it seems all the more daunting. Is it fair to my family (not to mention everyone else) for me to embark on such a time-sucker? Am I willing to make the sacrifices? I'm just not so sure.

I've run 2 marathons, and will run another in October. For them, I've had about a 4 month training period, and have quite often cursed and complained my way through them. I haven't even told the majority of my running buddies that I'm doing a marathon this year because I didn't want the pressure of having my training plan (or lack thereof, quite frankly) critiqued. I just wanted to run. I have no time goal, other than to beat the straggler bus. I am not a fast runner. I do the turtle-shuffle, and that's okay with me. I'm a strong swimmer, having spent 8 years on a swim team. I can ride a bike, but am not very good at it. It scares me - if /when I fall, it's going to hurt. I go faster than I'm comfortable with, and I'm not even going all that fast. I'm sure some of these feelings will pass, but lord, 112 miles ! That just seems insane.

I'm doubting my ability to commit to the Ironman - or, more precisely, to it's training. I'm sure that I could suffer through the actual race. But I'm not sure I could force myself to suffer through the training. The half distance is starting to seem a lot more reasonable. I've biked 34 miles before. The jump to 56 seems doable. I can already swim 1.2 miles, and most of my weekly long runs are longer than 13.1 miles. But, with time, who's to say I wouldn't be able to make the leap the Ironman distances?

Sigh. Such indecision.

As of a little while ago, the race was still open, so I guess I get to waver some more. Any input would be appreciated.